Life

Fred's facts of life are simple and a must to enjoy life. I giving you the rundown of ways to make life a little better.

1. Drink! Who says drinking doesn't solve problems. I'll give you one problem it does solve. Not being drunk. Who wants to go through life sober. That's boring and so are you if you don't drink. Have you ever been to a party and their was someone there not drinking. Who was the one having the least amount of fun.....That Guy!!! You know the guy sitting there choking down a Pepsi while you are playing a drinking game. He is always off in the background acting like he is texting on his phone. You know he is crying inside!!!

2. Be lazy when you can. I'm not saying move back in to your parents house and quit your job. I'm saying if you don't want to workout on Saturday, don't workout. If you want to have a beer and watch the game without feeling guilty, do it. Who gives a shit. There is only so much time in the day. There is also only so much time to nap also!

3. Sports. Watch sports and watch sports often. What better way to live life than through something else. Like a sports team. So you are a drunk lazy bastard (assuming you followed my first two post). Well watching sports makes you feel like part of a team (an you never even had to practice).

4. Do the work. Take this how you want but unless you win the lottery or were born into a lot of money. You are going to have to put in kind of work to get anywhere. Unless you are extremely lucky.

5. Enjoy the little things. If you don't do this you are going to have the most miserable life ever. The big things are few and far between, so if you don't enjoy the little things what is there to enjoy at all.

6. Sweat pants. That's right, MOTHER FUCKING SWEAT PANTS, do not doubt what comfort will do for you. Who needs jeans to go to the store, I sure don't, and you do not either.

7. Keep your friends close. Yea, I know, your friends can annoy you sometime. But so what. Who is going to bet there for you when you can't find your wallet because you once again slept at a house that you have never seen on a road you have never heard of. Your friends that's who. remember the "little things" it's easy to forgive the little things because the few and far between big things are clutch when you need them the most.

8. If you get a boyfriend/girlfriend don't forget about your friends. This is real fucking annoying when your buddy that used to hang out with you once or twice a week won't even return your calls. I also think it's funny when they become "we or we're" instead of me or I. You know what I mean; "Hey man, wanna go grab a beer?" "Na I think that we're staying in tonight." Lame.

9. Don't take life too seriously. If you go through life too seriously you are just going to be one pissed off son of a bitch. No lie, if you don't have a sense of humor people won't like you, and the ones that do, will most likely talk about you behind your back.

10. Do not judge people until you understand people. Except goths, punks, and people different than you. But seriously, don't knock it until you tried it. I have tried some things that I used to think looked stupid. So just keep an open mind.

I by no means an encouraging full alcoholism and extreme laziness. Just a couple suggestions to make life better.